Papa Went Home.

Well, my Papa went home to Heaven on Saturday morning around 11:30. It shouldn't have come as a surprise to any of us, because Papa had been in poor health for years and in and out of the hospital continually. But he always seemed to bounce back and come home faithfully. This time, however, he did not bounce back. Saturday morning, my parents came in my room, saying that they were headed to the hospital and my dad, with teary eyes, said that he thought this might be the end for Papa. I wanted to go with them, so I threw on some clothes and pulled my messy hair into a ponytail. In the back of my mind, I wasn't expecting this to be it. Papa always comes back. We got to the ICU waiting room and my grandma was there with my aunt and uncle who live in Arkansas. As we walked back to Papa's room and saw him hooked up to the breathing machine, tears filled my eyes: this was my grandpa, my vivacious, ornery grandpa. We were told that all of his systems had essentially shut down and that he had very little brain activity. We waited for my other aunt and uncle to arrive at the hospital before they took him off the breathing machine and we said our goodbyes. As I watched my mother, aunt, uncle, and father all say their goodbyes, some of them sobbing, I held my Papa's hand, told him I loved him, and kissed his shoulder as I hugged him for the last time.
The next couple of days were filled with wonderful family time, and memories were shared constantly. We all loved Papa. He was so many things to so many people. Last night, I stood in line to shake the hands of those who came to his visitation. The line was endless for two hours: neighbors, church members, former students, the old TV repairman, an employee from one of Papa's favorite clothing stores, golf buddies...the list of people who came would go on for days. While the younger kids grew tired, I loved every second of the visitation. It was sad, but it was so wonderful to be able to see all of the people that Papa had impacted throughout his life.
Today, we held the funeral in his church, which is absolutely gorgeous. There was an overwhelming amount of flowers that people had sent that were cascading all over the front of the sanctuary. The service was perfect: it began with a trumpet solo of "Amazing Grace," which made me cry from the get-go. Papa would have loved that. The preacher said such kind words and told funny stories. My favorite part of the service, however, was when my uncle and dad both got up to give speeches. I couldn't hold back the tears as dad and Uncle Bubby told of how Papa would always show support in everything that we would do, but he would be sure to tell us when we did something wrong! And my dad shared some funny stories about Papa, ending his speech by saying that we should never go through life without telling those that we love the things that we need to say. You never know when you'll have your last chance to talk to someone that you love. The pastor also had all of the grandchildren give him a list of their favorite memories with papa. We had everything written down from the many golfcart-driving lessons he would give us, to how he would always buy an ice cream sundae for the "kids" and then eat most of it himself, to how he would always save a dance for me at our family reunion get-togethers.

My Papa was a wonderful man. He was stubborn, loud, impatient, loving, dedicated, brilliant, and grumpy just like his nickname. But most of all, he was my grandpa and I will miss him dearly. As we rode in my dad's car to the gravesite this afternoon, we listened to all of Papa's favorite songs that he would listen to on record (turning up the bass as loud as it would go). So Papa, in honor of you, I will be singing Boston's "Long Time"all the rest of my days! I can't wait to dance with you again in Heaven someday.

Introducing My Boyfriend.

One year ago today, my best friend asked me to become his girlfriend. This is a blogpost dedicated to introducing you to my crazy boyfriend! One fact for each month.

1. Hayden's favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla.
2. A week ago yesterday, he came home from a semester long mission trip to Las Vegas where he helped Refugees become acquainted with US culture.
3. He drinks his coffee black.
4. One of Hayden's lifelong dreams is to own a fat cat.
5. One of Hayden's more serious life dreams is to become a missionary and visit a foreign land.
6. His favorite color is red.
7. He has quite the knack for playing guitar.
8. Hayden could listen to hymns all day.
9. He is colorblind.
10. He is also somewhat double-jointed.
11. This semester, he grew a beard for the first time...it was huge, so I made him trim it.
12. He is on fire in his relationship with the Lord and I can't wait what God has in store for the rest of his life!

Happy 1 year, Hayden! Here's to many more. : )

Jess

I Want to Be a Teacher.

I want to be a teacher. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a teacher. Sure, every little girl goes through that stage of wanting to be a ballerina, a princess, a veterinarian, or (in my case) Nancy Drew. However, throughout all of those stages, deep down, I have always had that desire to teach. As a young fifth grader, I decided to turn our playroom closet into my classroom. My dad even hung a giant whiteboard on the closet wall so that I could be just like a "real" teacher. And my poor younger brother Peyton, along with my four favorite stuffed animals, had to endure hours of spelling homework (I taught them my fifth grade spelling words).  As I go throughout my college semesters--I''m soon-to-be starting the last half of my sophomore year of college and time is going by as quickly as ever--I've found that sitting through my education courses can be so exciting. I can't wait to get in my classroom full of middle school students. Yes, I want to teach middle school. That age is both terrible and terrifying, but it can also be terrific. I can't wait to come up with lesson plans to actually make Language Arts a fun class. And I can't wait to maybe someday coach my own speech students.
However, with the recent events that went down in Connecticut, a new fear has been struck into me. What if that were to happen at the school in which I taught? Today as I was looking through the online news, I saw an article that was a little bit different from the articles I had seen over and over again. Instead of highlighting this terrible man who committed an act so evil that it shouldn't even be mentioned, the news was dedicated to the victims of the shooting. Not only were the victims mentioned, but also the heroes in the situation. There were several teachers mentioned who stayed calm on the outside during this horrifying situation and knew exactly what they needed to do to protect their students. I read about one teacher who hid her students in a supply closet right before the gunman entered the classroom. She told the man that her students were in the gym and then her life was taken from her. Gone. Just like that. Her students were all safe. And then there was the fearless principle who physically tried to stop this man and was killed in the process. It makes me wonder first off: would I be willing to sacrifice my own life for the lives of my students? I sure hope so. And secondly, it makes me think that the end is near. This year, there have been far too many dark and evil acts committed in our nation. There is so much hurt and pain in my heart thinking about all of the suffering caused by evil that is in our world today. Am I ready for Christ to come back? I sure am. But as my boyfriend, Hayden says, "The end is near, but it can't be too near yet, because so many more need to hear." So many more lives need to be won to Christ. As a Christ follower, I can unashamedly say that I am ready to die. I would hope that I would be willing to die if it was during a normal day in my classroom, or if I were to die a martyr's death for my faith. I am ready for the second coming of my Savior. I know that the battle has been won already. But there are so many more that need to hear.
So...I want to be a teacher. And more than that, I want to be a teacher of Christ's love through my actions and words. Because there are so many more that need to hear.

Take These Dry Bones.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been exhausted. I've been bogged down with tests and projects and assignments. I got a bad test score (in the midst of three awesome test scores, but of course, I had to focus on the one negative.) I had been going to bed late and getting up early. I hadn't gotten to spend time with my family in-depth for a long time. I missed (and still miss) Hayden terribly. I had friends going through things that were just tough.

This weekend I was so thankful for the chance to get to come home and have a time of rest. However, I was greeted with news that a girl from my home youth group had lost her father to a terrible virus that killed him in two weeks. As my family was watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" last night, my dad got a phone call saying that my grandpa was in the hospital again. We found out today that my grandpa most likely has an infection somewhere around his brain and they will be performing a spinal tap sometime today to help them find more answers. He is currently in Intensive Care.

These are just tough things. However, in the midst of all this trouble, there are still incredibly happy things going on around me: babies being born, couples getting engaged and married, churches being planted, salvation to the lost, and opportunities offered. What I've been experiencing made me think back to a passage I read a little while ago for the first time ever. It can be found in Ezekiel chapter 37 verses 1- 14. You can read it if you would like, but I'll give a quick synopsis. The Spirit of the Lord causes Ezekiel to have a vision. In his vision, he is taken to this valley full of dusty and dry bones--literally filled to the brim with death. God asks Ezekiel a simple question. He asks, "Ezekiel, can these bones ever experience life again?" Ezekiel is probably dumbfounded by the question and simply responds by saying that only God himself could know that. Then God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and tell them to hear the word of the Lord and that He will give them life. Long story short, by the end of the passage, the valley full of dry bones becomes a valley filled with an army of strong men: men into whom God breathed life and flesh, and muscle.

All that to say, today as I was sitting in my parents' Sunday School classroom, the teacher was talking about the passage that we use over and over again: Romans 8:28. "For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and who are called according to His purpose." God is sovereign over all. He is able to take a terrible situation and use it for good. As followers of Christ, absolutely everything in our lives can be used to further God's Kingdom and to bring us closer to Him. He makes all things new. He gives dry bones the breath of life. He can build an army from a pile of skeletons. When your spiritual life is dry, when things come toward you that you fear will shatter your dry bones, and when your faith is small and your heart is calloused, look out over that valley. See the strong army that came from dry bones. That's what God has been teaching me lately.

Until next time,

Jess

Viva Las Vegas!

Hi, friends!

It's been so long since I've written last. I apologize, but things have been so incredibly busy! I just got back from a four-day weekend full of adventures! I can't believe Fall Break is over and I have to go back to normal life...and a week full of midterms and projects. BUT I am so thankful that I got to go on an amazing trip to Las Vegas, Nevada! My boyfriend, Hayden will be there all semester with his aunt and uncle, who have a ministry called Safely Home, to Bhutanese, Burmese, and Nepali refugees who live in the area. You can read more about Safely Home here. I got to stay with their family and see the sights as well as meet some of the refugees.

Day 1: I flew all by myself! I was so proud of myself. Nothing went wrong and the Lord took care of me. Hayden and his Aunt Cynthia met me at the airport where I gave both of them big hugs! They then took me to eat at a Mexican restaurant where we met up with Hayden's cousin Alicia and Uncle Tom. From there, we went to the mall and Hayden got his very first pair of TOMS shoes. Then we drove down the strip to see all of the lights.

At the airport!

Day 2: We had planned to go to the Grand Canyon, but the night before, it had rained and there were flash flood warnings, so that was a no-go. Out of the six days that it rains a year in Las Vegas, I got to be there for one of them. I feel honored? Instead of the Grand Canyon, we grabbed some lunch from In-N-Out Burger and headed to a beautiful place called Red Rock Canyon, where we looked for wild burros, saw some amazing desert landscape, and ate our lunch in the car as a storm blew through. After this, Hayden, Aunt Cynthia, Alicia, and I all went to see inside some of the elaborate hotels and casinos. I was amazed at how much money goes into these buildings. From the ornate decorations to the insane amount of gambling that goes on...Las Vegas is a very money-oriented place.

Red Rock Canyon

Me and Alicia

Me and Hayden

New York, New York Hotel and Casino

Inside the Venetian. Amazing.

Blown glass chandelier in the Bellagio

Water fountain show at the Bellagio

Day 3: This was my last day. We started out at Tropicana Christian Church, where Hayden teaches his Sunday school class of 3-5 year-olds. It was neat to be able to see the church and help Hayden with his Sunday School lesson! After that, we took a van with several other people who were interested in helping serve with Safely Home, to a refugee apartment, where we were shown a short film and served a meal. I was a little bit nervous, because it is required that you eat when you are at the refugee homes, and you must eat pretty much everything, or else it is considered very rude to their families. However, the food was actually pretty good! The people were also incredibly hospitable. After this, we headed to another refugee apartment, where there was a birthday party for a 10-year old boy. Birthdays for their children are especially exciting, because this is the generation that will not have to grow up in a refugee camp. And...we were served yet another meal! Across the hall, there was another refugee birthday party for a little 3-year-old girl. She was all decked out in a sparkly princess dress and it was adorable. After we left the apartment complex, we were able to go to the top of the Stratosphere, which is at the end of the strip. It was amazing to see the vast amount of lights in Las Vegas, and how they completely stop when you get to the mountains. We ended the night with some pie from Marie Callender's restaurant, before I had to be at the airport at 5 am the next day.

Hayden showing off his craft closet

One of the refugee women who served us

The first meal that we were served.

Hayden and I at the Stratosphere 

It was a wonderful weekend! I got to see Hayden and meet the family he is always talking about as well as the refugees he goes on and on about. And it was interesting, because I found that the lights on the Vegas strip were nothing compared to the way that the refugees' eyes shined as they served us and fellowshipped with one another. Nothing man-made can ever compare to what God has made, no matter how glitzy and glamorous it is. In the words of Jon Foreman, "The first star that I saw last night was a headlight of a man-made sky, but man-made never made our dreams collide." I saw many different faces this weekend. I saw the pained and empty faces of gamblers in casinos. I saw the passionate face of my missionary boyfriend. I saw the caring face of Hayden's aunt as she sacrifices so much to be with these refugees. And I saw the face of joy in a refugee believer.

Until next time,

Jess

Glowsticks, Zombies, and Spiritual Growth

Hi.

It seems like it's been forever since I last wrote a blog post. So much has happened!
This past weekend I had the opportunity to serve as a leader at something called "Engage Weekend" at my home church in Springfield-- Second Baptist. It's basically a weekend full of fellowship, games, serving, worship music, and awesome group Bible lessons. This was the first time I got to participate as a leader, and it was a blast. I co-led a group of 7th grade girls with my good friend Molly.

A lot of prayer went into the weekend beforehand, and the prayers were definitely felt. Friday night started off with signing the kids in and making sure they had everything needed for registration. Then we had a typical youth group game which consisted of four kids who volunteered to eat a banana while wearing a pair of pantyhose over their face. (Classic.) We then had a time of worship, and our first group lesson, which led into our lesson in our host home later on that night. To be honest, when I was a student at Engage Weekend, the curriculum wasn't super relevant to my life, but this year the curriculum was awesome. The theme for the weekend was "Redefining Normal" and we focused on how the church for so long has beat it into our brains that we must say no to everything. Christians are so often known for things that they don't do rather than what they actually do. "Christians don't drink, don't smoke, and don't cuss." While these things are extremely important, and as followers of Christ, we are called to a different standard than the rest of the world, it seems that we only see half of the Gospel sometimes. If you take a look at Jesus' life, He wasn't known for what He didn't do. He was mainly known for what He did do. The Bible doesn't say, "And then Jesus went to his house while wearing modest clothing, and he enjoyed a G-rated movie while all of his friends were out at bars drinking and smoking." No. Jesus was out getting to know the lost on a personal level. He cared about the poor and the needy and served them. He advanced the Gospel. He was missional. Those other standards were important, but they weren't the only thing that Jesus was known for. Our youth pastor, Cory gave the analogy of the differences between a dormant volcano and an active volcano and used them as a parallel to the Christian life. Those who have merely prayed a prayer to accept Christ, but aren't active in their faith have the potential to have a faith that is beautiful, ferocious, and amazing like the Christian whose faith looks like an active volcano.

On Saturday, we took our groups to serve at the Victory Mission. My group helped sort clothing. There were a ton of our kids inside of this huge warehouse full of boxes with trashbags of clothing and other miscellaneous items. Our job was to open the bags and put the clothing into big boxes and the other items into different piles. It was awesome to see all of these middle school and high school students serving and having fun at the same time! Seriously, these kids are a hilarious and solid group. I had a couple of my 7th grade girls with me the whole time and they worked so hard. Apparently what our students accomplished in an hour and a half would have taken the Victory Mission workers almost two months! What a blessing it is to be a blessing.

After this, we took our church vans back to Second and geared up for our big group activity: Humans vs. Zombies. This was basically a giant game of tag throughout the whole church. Our groups were our teams, and each team was given a different kind of bandana to be worn as an arm band. We were also given a book of missions to complete and a backpack full of weapons such as finger rockets and nerf guns. (Two words: Hunger Games.) Four leaders were designated zombies at the beginning. If a student got tagged, they went down to the basement and exchanged their ID cards and moved their bandanas to their heads, because they were now zombies as well. It was hilarious to see our adult leaders and kids limping around like zombies. Such a fun time.

Later on that night, we got word that a family whose kids went to one of the public schools in the area had just died in a plane crash. Several of our students knew them personally, and it was extremely rough on them. My 7th grade girls had a hard time seeing the older girls all torn up about it, and a few of them actually knew the girl who had passed away. That night, our lesson was on hope, which wasn't an accident. God knew that that would be just what was needed, and Cory was able to speak truth to our students who were hurting and upset. It was a time for crying and comforting and support from fellow believers. It was amazing to see how our students grew closer together through this tragic accident. (You make all things work together for our good.)

It seems that in moments like these, when we are so in tune to God, He is able to use little things to speak to us. We had an incredible night of singing worship music to the Lord, and one thing that stuck out to me was this: there was a group of guys who was clapping loudly throughout an entire song, even at the end when things were getting softer. It was during the line "Christ has died and Christ is risen, and Christ will come again" that something really hit me. This should be our anthem. Just like these young men were continually clapping throughout that line, so should we continually be about the fact that Christ has died, risen, and is coming again. It's what we live for. It is why we are alive, and what keeps us going.

And so, I am thankful that I got to be a part of something awesome that included lots of glowsticks and bandanas, a little One Direction and Justin Beiber, a few zombies, and a lot of spiritual growth.

Serving at the Victory Mission!

Having fun while serving

Gearing up for the zombie apocalypse

Our amazing group of girls!

Thanks for reading such a long post!

until next time....

Jess

A Lovely Weekend.

Hello again.

This is a blogpost dedicated to the lovely weekend that I had. It was very relaxing and fun! On Friday night after all the crazy weather, I headed over to stay the night with my boyfriend's sister/ my good friend Hailey while her parents were out of town. We had lots of time for girl-talk! The next day, I got 4 inches cut off my hair, then I went back over to hang out with Hailey and we had a picnic at the park-complete with a man wielding a metal detector-then we baked cookies, attempted to make iced coffee, and watched a Chick-flick. It had been a while since I had gotten to have girl time like that, so it was quite refreshing!
This morning, I woke up, ran home and got ready for church, swung by Second to pick up curriculum for Engage Weekend this coming weekend, and then headed to Bolivar to go to my church there, Freshwater. I tried out a new hairstyle that I saw on Pinterest and that several of my other friends have tried. It's called the "sock bun" and basically entails putting a cut, rolled up sock over your pony tail like a scrunchie almost, and then wrapping your hair around it in a bun. I think it turned out pretty nicely. Worshipping at Freshwater was incredible like always. Today we talked about the body of Christ and how every person plays a role in the body. Just like if your arm were cut off and you wouldn't be able to function as well, so is the church when it is missing someone who isn't serving in the capacity they were made to serve. Every person in the Body is important and serves a specific function.
Later this afternoon, I met up with some of my good friends in Randolph Chapel on campus, which is a beautiful little chapel (with minimal air conditioning) where students sometimes go to pray and spend time with the Lord. Three of us brought our guitars and two girls came with just their voices. It was a fun time of fellowship with great friends, harmonies, and singing to the Lord. Then this afternoon, I got to skype with Hayden, who made it to Las Vegas safely last night around 11 or so. Definitely a blessing!
Tonight was my first night of helping out in the youth group at Freshwater, and I was quite nervous! When I walked in the doors, I felt as if I was the new 6th grader coming into youth all over again. I tried socializing with and getting to know some of the girls there, which was a trial and error process. Two younger girls didn't talk hardly at all, but I was able to ask them several questions to get to know them better. It was a blessing that there were two other girls who were there as first time leaders as well. I stuck with them! The lesson was on Adam and Eve and the creation of the world. The youth pastor did something called "storying" where he basically just told the Bible story in his own words, and then told us to read the chapters on our own. He presented the Bible as "the ultimate love story" to the girls and "a book full of adventures" to the guys. I thought this was a great touch! Afterwards, me and my suitemates and roommate all went on a sushi date. Ashley and I tried deep-fried California rolls, and they were amazing!

Hailey at our picnic!

Sock Bun hair for church today

Music time in Randolph Chapel!

Love these ladies

Andie eating wasabi?

We ate it all.

Suitemates Date!

Good times.

Anyway, that brings us to the present. I am thankful that I had such a great, relaxing weekend, and I am ready for a new week!

Until next time,

Jess